confused

Robin Lawrence & Jenny Lawrence - A Roots to Fruit Story from Trinity Fellowship Church on Vimeo.


This is, I hope, not false humility parading itself, but I'm having a hard time with the overly generous reaction to the video. I bordered on embarrassment when they first suggested the topic for us to speak about. Of all the people in the world, I think I'm one of the last qualified to speak about suffering. I've never gone to bed hungry. I've never been abused. I've never had to kill myself with labor to get byy. I haven't suffered.

My mom died of cancer when I was eleven. But she loved me. She never abused me or ignored me. She died--she didn't abandon me. That's diet suffering. Lite. Zero calories.

I know someone who was tormented by a terrible disease, watched his sister suffer from a disorder, and then watched his mom die of cancer.

I look at him and think---what right do I have to put myself on the pedestal of an experienced sufferer? I don't know anything! God took my mom, and by His grace I can still praise Him. But what if He took all of my health, my job, my possessions, and every friend? I pray, literally pray every day, that He will keep me faithful even then. But I am as yet not tested.

It's strange to hear from people who really have suffered, whether physically or emotionally or spiritually, and to find that they were touched and impressed. I can find no explanation for it, except that God is pleased to use the extremely foolish things of the world.

You are good, and what You do is good. Teach me decrees!